Betsy Ross I ain't

OMG…I have committed to a sewing project. (Yes, Virginia, there IS a sucker born every minute. – Ed.) I am making 17 mob caps for my daughter’s classroom. What is a mob cap, you ask? It’s that silly thing that looks like a white shower cap that colonial girls and women wore. My daughter helpfully volunteered me to do this. Suddenly going on a field trip seems a lot more palatable, even if it’s a field trip to Hades. Or the Children’s Museum. (Same diff. – Ed.)


To balance things out, I’m considering making my son this project – a felt Bantha. Dang O’Dell – that’s good lookin’.



In other toy news, I’m sure you’ve heard that Barbie has beaten the Bratz dolls in a street fight. Despite the fact that the Bratz have disproportionately large heads, I feel no kinship. Watch out, Groovy Girls – you bitches are next.

Good News, M#therF*ck&!s!

A study at the University of East Anglia Norwich in England has found that swearing relieves stress at work. Drop that F bomb, friends, and go to your happy place.

We Dap-Kings of Orient Are...

I. So, it’s definitely been crazy, Lone Reader. How was Sharon Jones, you might ask? Well, it was fantabulous, as one might expect. I think the First Ave. show last year was better, if only because it was absolutely packed with crazy sweaty dancers. (and the concert was longer.) This was definitely a different crowd – the tickets were about twice as much as the First Ave show, and it was in the Pantages Theater, so a fairly gray crowd. I was concerned that there wouldn’t be dancing, but of course, you can’t stop me and my peeps. Those Dap-Kings really bring it, man.

II. Since then, I’ve had a grant in the finishing line and a bunch of xmas tasks to get to. Sigh. I really, really, love Christmas, but mailing so many gifts is wee bit stressful. Today I am lugging the 75 Rubbermaid tubs out of the attic to begin the Christmasification of the house. Yowza, dude – I need to get rid of some of this stuff.

I was desperate to send a can of bacon to my nephews for Christmas, but apparently you have to buy it by the case. It’s funny, but not a $120 of funny. (What is?)

It’s kind of a weird holiday this year, dontcha think? There’s been so much bad news and just about everyone I know is tightening the ol’ belt or fearful of layoffs. My job is secure as long as I can bring in the money for the non-profit gallery where I work. Call me psychic, but I don’t think the end-of-year ask letter is going to draw much cash this year. We’ll see.

I’m considering purchasing the Colbert xmas special, just ‘cause they had it for $15 at Target and I fell asleep during the airing of the show. Is it worth it? Stephen Colbert thinks so.

This morning I took the kids to the bank to see Santa. Every year he makes an appearance and they take pics and give you a free ornament with the picture inside. I have 10 years of these, and although they’re a little cheesy, it’s also very sweet. This year they also had a sleigh ride with two reindeer pulling. (Poor bastards.) The kids were in heaven.

I’m heading out with the fam for Thai food tonight – I’m grateful to not have to cook after cranking out several dozen cookies in the past two days. Yum.

Wishing you and yours a happy Saint Nicholas Day! xoxo, Velma

Shake n' Bake

Tonight is Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings! I am sooo excited. I loves me some Sharon Jones, man. I’ve said it before, but she is truly the love child of James Brown and Tina Turner. I’ve seen her twice before, once at First Ave and again this summer at the MN State Fair. I can’t wait. It’s at the Pantages Theater, which has me a wee bit nervous. Back in the day, before kids, I went to see Elvis Costello (sigh) in one of the Hennepin theaters. It was totally depressing – he sounded great, but the audience was all genteel applause and staying in their seats. Blecch. It’s time to shake a tailfeather, dude!

I’ll post a review tomorrow. Shake your groove thang, Lone Reader!