Anarchy and the AK

Photo from the Strib

Hmmm…what to say? Do I live in a police state? It kinda feels like it. Yesterday the helicopters were overhead all day, there were police cars on my block and every exit on 35E that I passed had a trooper poised at the ready. On the news I saw video of the sharp shooters on top of downtown buildings. For the record, I am not an anarchist…I just really like to wear black. Everyone I know who was involved in the protests was peaceful and respectful. And all of this fuss just for the first day of school? It seems like too much really.

Yes, the kids are off in school. It is quiet and a little sad, but also pretty heady to be able to schedule my work time according to something other than the whims of a child. What shall I do with all this free time, Lone Reader? Bonbons and Oprah? Jagermeister and Food network? Nay, I’ll opt for tremendous quantities of Tab, some arts administration and a li’l bloggin’.

Sarah Palin update:
I find it totally bizarre how much bandwidth is dedicated to the possibility that Sarah Palin’s fifth child is actually her grandchild. Who cares? The moral of the story is that, despite Palin’s insistence that abstinence education works, it doesn’t. And I feel tremendously sorry for Bristol, the pregnant daughter. She’s had a really hard year – 5 months out of school for mono, then pulled to be home schooled, 3 traffic violations, now this. Plus, no one on myspace will message her anymore for fear of the secret service showing up.

I don’t actually care much about Sarah Palin’s childrearing abilities. It’s very scary, however, how little planning/ vetting went in to this decision. From today’s NYTimes: Disclosures on Palin Raise Questions on Vetting Process.

Oh, Mr. McCain, you should hung tough with Tom Ridge. At least he woulda brought more than 3 electoral college votes to the table.

There she is, your breaker of ties in the Senate…

Sarah Palin

- named her kids Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig

- is under investigation in Alaska for alleged involvement in the firing of a state trooper who happened to be divorcing Ms. Palin’s sister

- brought a lawsuit to stop the federal government from declaring polar bears an endangered species

- 21 months ago was the mayor of Wasilla Alaska, a town I’ve been in. Believe me…it’s no great shakes.

- was Miss Wasilla in 1984. Can Joe Biden make the same claims on American heartstrings? I think not.

You see, Lone Reader, I lived in Alaska. I worked with women like this – conservative, scary women with expensive manicures who can gut a deer as soon as look at you. While they’re not people you want to, oh I dunno, train as museum docents, they’re also not people you want a heartbeat away from assuming power of the free world. (from a 72 year-old man, no less.)

Then again, she does have the lady bidness, so I guess she’s qualified.

It's the Fair Report, Part Deux!

Well, I got to the fair at about 8:45 this morn. It was lovely outside - perfect temp and not a cloud in the sky. We started with a tour of the 'Miracle of Birth Center'. I've yet to ever see an animal born there, but I have seen throngs of gawkers waiting. As a woman who has calved two big-headed lovelies, I must say, I really feel for those mama animals. I couldn't begin to describe the horrors you would've seen and heard if I had been on display during labor. With both of my kids, the labor was, well, hard. (duh) and seriously endless. And complicated. The pushing part, though, was fabulous. The beauty of giving birth to a baby with a great gourd is that once the head breaks trail, it's smooth sailing the rest of the way. (to mix metaphors) I'm proud to say that I have the only deliveries on record at Abbott Northwestern where the doctor needed a catcher's mitt.

Sorry, I digress...back to the fair. We drank a whole lot of milk, the kids split a funnel cake (blecch) and we lost about $14 on games on the midway. My son and I rode the Tilt-a-Whirl twice and LOVED it. We made crop art and laughed at some crazy roosters. At SMarty's advice, we went to the old time-y part of the fair including the MN State Fair Museum. It was pretty good! (They just don't shoot people outta cannons anymore, do they?) The absolutely creepiest part of the fair was in the agriculture building, where for some reason there's a toddler doll with a press-on beard rotating on a turntable with an ox. What Paul Bunyan would've looked like at 4? An incredibly hirsute lost child? Who knows.

We also had Pig Lickers, the chocolate covered bacon by Famous Dave's. I had tried it with my friend last week and liked it. This time, not so much. The bacon was rubbery and there was no grey sea salt on top. It really was a crazy kinda chewy/slimy texture. Not so good. Big Fat Bacon, however, was SO worth the wait. It was a gigantic, thick cut bacon strip on a stick with assorted sauces to choose from. I opted for orange chipotle. It was a little marmalade-y and could've used more acid in it, but it was good. And the bacon was to die for - yum. The day's crud food array was rounded out with a skewer of frozen grapes (not good) and a strawberry malt from the dairy building. I'm barely breathing from all the sugar and nitrates. Tomorrow - veggies and kefir and flax seed, oh my.

Ciao, Lone Reader! Happy weekend!

David Duchovny, Why Don't You Love Me?

Apparently Bree Sharp shoulda changed the word from "love" to somethin' else. Oh well.

Update & Book Reviews

Well, what a weird few days, Lone Reader. On Tuesday I got some kind of bizarre 8 hour stomach bug. Today, I’m fine. Go figure. So what else is new? Today was the back-to-school open house for the young ‘uns. Lots of social angst from my daughter over who was or wasn’t in her class. It’ll be okay…right? right. I’m also on a home organization tear, now emptying my garage of crap, not a simple task. Tonight I sorted two giant Rubbermaid containers of stuff and have again so much for Goodwill. Honestly, if I get audited, they’ll say how could you POSSIBLY give that much away in one year?!

Tomorrow morning bright and early I head to the fair w/ the kids. and my mom. I’m hoping the massive doses of cholesterol and nitrates will help ease the stress of being with my mom. I’m having the bacon on a stick, baby!

Book reviews:
I finished 'Not The End of the World' by Kate Atkinson. I loved it. It’s a collection of short stories that are inventive, dark and dreamlike. It was simultaneously depressing and hopeful, a quality that always resonates with me.

I’m almost finished with 'My Husband’s Sweethearts' by Bridget Asher, the pen name of Julianna Baggott. I bought the book for two reasons: 1) I LOVED the Julianna Baggott & Steve Almond book ‘Which Brings Me To You’ and hoped for another smart, insightful funny work. (See my review of this phenomenal tome here.) and 2) Ms. Baggott corresponded with me briefly after I wrote about the book in blog and was super funny & cool in her e-mail, too. Sad to say, this book was a bit of a let down. I think it belongs firmly in the chick lit ghetto. It’s not un-enjoyable, but pretty predictable and unbelievable. sigh. There’s a reason it wasn’t written under her own name, I guess. I’ll give her another try by reading something else and let you know.

Well, I’ve got an $80,000 grant calling my name. Work calls at this, the midnight hour. The life of a single mom/ fundraiser/ groovy ghoulie never lets up, man.

I have two lines of thought for my next TRUE STORY: childhood toy hospital or natural disasters...any preference, Lone Reader?

I close with two lines paraphrased from Jon Stewart’s DNC coverage.
- The Democrats really have to prove their patriotism tonight. Everyone knows the Republicans love their country; they just hate half the people living in it.

- Get to Mile High Stadium early for Obama’s speech because hope won’t park your motherf*ckin’ car!

True dat.

Happy Birthday, Elvis!

Dear Mr. Costello,

I know that this whole Diana Krall thing is just a way of you biding time 'til you meet me again. You've gotta give it up man. You're a dozen years older then I am...you're busy with that whole 'music' thing and I'm busy with that whole 'real life' thing. It's not going to work out. And what did you do with all the money I sent you to fix your teeth?!

I'm going to send back all the love notes and trinkets you've send me over the years. (I've gotta keep the jewelry though, it's a girl's prerogative.) And I'm keeping the blog name, too. And all the CDs. And I've still never washed the hand you kissed, even though it was 1985. My doctor says I might lose it soon to the gangrene, but even then I'd pack it in dry ice as a symbol of our love. (Call for a psych eval. - ed.)

Happy birthday, darling! Love always,

Velma

How could I forget - BACON!

A dear friend pointed out that I forgot to give my bacon reviews from the fair! The Famous Dave's Pig Lickers are pretty good. You have to get past the name (eww) and the temperature - they're served cold. The combo of the chocolate and the bacon was good and the sea salt pushed it over the top into the realm of fair food. My friend Robin who went with me doesn't even like bacon (wha?!) and she ate two pieces. We went near closing and got a cone very full of bacon chocolate goodness. While I didn't enjoy it enough to get it again, it was good for fair food. (and I heard it was on Good Morning America this week in a story about fair food...that and Jesse Ventura - does our pride show?)

I couldn't find the bacon on a stick. I'll look again when I'm there w/ the young 'uns. I did get a bacon and swiss crepe from the stand under the slide. Blecch. I like their crepe batter - not too sweet, and not too gluten-y/chewy but the filling was bad. Even I, Lone Reader, don't want to eat 2 cups of crumbled bacon dry inside a crepe. I pitched a lot of it.

The rest of the fair food I had was pretty standard - a malt from the butterhead building and too much diet coke and lemonade. I ate two of my friend's cheese curds and promptly remembered why I hate them. This week I'll get my standard stuff - a bowl of watermelon, a frozen cider pop, etc. No Pronto Pups for this gal. I might try the frozen latte (or is it a mocha?) on a stick next to the DFL booth -- a few years ago it was very highly regarded in the paper and thus was sold out by the time I got to the fair. Plus it's made by Grand Old Creamery, my local fix.

There - oversight corrected. Thanks, SMarty for the reminder! In other food news, St. Paulite Andrew Zimmern recently blogged about the possibility of a second Brasa opening in the Twin Cities, maybe in the old Italian Pie Shoppe space on Grand Ave. That's walking distance, chum, and that means I'll have to start eating more meat. Oh well, it's the price I must pay. (And I'm sure as hell not going to Salut on Grand. Rude, rude, rude manager (and I'm a witness to that fact) and I've heard nothing but bad things about the food.)

Apropos nothing, remember Lone Reader - sunblock is our friend. (and no, I'm not changing my name to Rudolph.) Ciao!