Mini Reviews n' More

After a super crappy day, I’m finally past my whining stage…or am I? Nah, I’m just messin’ with ya. The lowdown on my latest media meals:

1. May I just say that the free single of the week on iTunes is quite possibly the worst ever? I thought so. Judge for yourself, but to me, blecch. “Blind” by Hercules and Love Affair. It’ll make you wish you were “Deaf.”

In other iTunes news: I finally bought the new Elvis Costello CD (“Momofuku”) and it’s right tasty. Thank you, Sir, may I have another? But why oh why is the numero uno song on Elvis’ iTunes the dreadful “Veronica”? Sad, man.

2. Set your TiVos, people! The Daily Show has Scott “Narc” McClellan on Monday, June 2 and the very next day, David Sedaris. It’s all good, man. I don’t have TiVo, but I do have insomnia so it’s no prob, Bob. There’s also a possibility that I have a sick love of the Top Chef…I’m secretly looking forward to the finale so I can end this disease.

3. In a Slackin’ Festival of the Inappropriate, I watched “Strangers With Candy” and “The Aristocrats.” Strangely, I didn’t enjoy the Strangers…I loved the TV show and no on simultaneously fears and adores Amy Sedaris as much as I do. The Aristocrats was better than I thought it would be and gave me a new level of respect for Gilbert Gottfried. (It’s not saying much, but hey, you gotta start somewhere.) And about 10 minutes into it I realized this didn’t feature loveable Parisian kittens, but I still enjoyed it.

4. Did I or did I not say on April 18 in this very blog that the new Weezer was juicy fine?! And it is. Plus that mega-freakin' video is too funny. Video wizard Nick McGlynn has deconstructed the clips to make a reference companion video for those who truly need to know. I love you, Weezer. And Nick McGlynn.
Happy media-whoring, baby! (I was just talking to myself there.)

Hard times at the OK Corral

Bad day, man. Sick child and still no child support from my once and ne'er again spouse. That's right...he hasn't paid his May child support. I don't get spousal support -- it's just for the kids. Sigh. Divorce ain't a pic-a-nic basket, Boo Boo. Then again, neither is being married to a loon.

Wish me luck, Lone Reader. I need it.

Sigh...

Another night of poor sleep, Lone Reader. Why, oh why?

And a sad goodbye to Sydney Pollack. He was a fine director, but I always appreciated seeing him onscreen. I loved him in The Player and he was great in Michael Clayton, too.

Now I should work...am I rambling? Oh Hypnos, why hast thou forsaken me?

Alright... enough self-indulgence, although that is truly the bastion of the blogger. A more entertaining post later, I promise.

The Lion, the Witch and the Locksmith

I. I took the kids to see the latest Chronicles of Narnia movie yesterday. Hmmm…what to say? Mediocre, I think.

The negatives:
a) Ben Barnes, aka Prince Caspian, so clearly designed to be a pitty-pat draw for young girls. So sad that anyone over the age of 13 won’t be able to stomach his poor version of what others call “acting.”

b) Whoa, that’s a lot of battling, man. 4ril. For some, like my son, that’s a good thing. For me, not so much.

c) The bad guys just don’t seem really evil – more like a corrupt, morally bankrupt leader who feels omnipotent leading a group of blind followers…wait a minute! We’re talking about a movie, right?

d) Is it just me, or do all the bad guys look "swarthy", mediterranean or Jewish? Hmmm...pastiness is next to Godliness?

The positives:
a) Really spectacular cinematography and art direction. This film has “epic” written all over it.

b) Peter Dinklage, the mouse and the badger are phenomenal.

c) The Pevensie sibs almost make up for their lack of emotional range with their tremendous beauty. You know what I mean…that translucent skin, blank stare, Bridehead Revisted kind of thing. (see photo above)

Conclusion: Not a waste of cash, but not something I want to sit through again, either.

II. DAMN IT! I locked my keys in my car. I normally lock it with the remote, but I was in a hurry and pressed the inside lock button. As the door closed, I looked and saw the keys on the passenger seat. The car has but one set of keys – the other was lost years ago by my beloved then-spouse. When I had work done at the dealership, I asked about getting spares made. “$90,” was the response. (This is some kind of special computer- coded key.) Well, now I’ve given that much to a locksmith. Sigh. There’s bad lock mojo in the air this weekend – yesterday I helped a friend break into his apartment after a roommate accidentally locked him out.

I should buy a slim jim and a bolt cutter and set up shop...


Happy Memorial Day, Lone Reader! May locks swing open magically at your touch!

Bust loose, Geek

Whoa, Nellie. Three gals groovin' at a Best Buy. Geek Squad dude has some scary moves. He really takes off around:40. (apologies for the bizarre post format.)

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http://view.break.com/506192 - Watch more free videos

Springtime in Luck-land

Yesterday: Someone had his *ss handed to him at air hockey last night. Okay, then he beat me the next three games, but for one glorious moment I was a superstar. I was also schooled in the ways of mini-golf at the delightfully retro Spring Lake Park Amusement Mini Golf. Super fun on a lovely Wednesday eve.

This weekend: Chris Monroe, whom I adore, is doing a reading at Red Balloon Bookshop on Saturday. I have this file labeled 'Important Papers'. It has some very important things, like passports and birth certificates, but mainly it's things like pictures of my dream haircut ripped out of a magazine, my temporary tattoos from being a member of Pee Wee's Playhouse Fan Club and cartoons torn from the New Yorker and other places -- cartoons that I thought I really couldn't live without. The single most saved comic is 'Violet Days' by Chris Monroe. I truly love it. Some of them in the file are so yellow and faded, you feel like you're sifting through grandma's scrapbook. If you haven't seen Chris Monroe's work, get yourself to a bookstore, Strib or some other place and share the funny, man.

There's also an opening at The Soap Factory on Saturday night. What intrigues me most about the opening is the exhibition of Roger Roger, a work by media artist Traci Tullius that reflects on her Oklahoma upbringing. From the web:

Connected by musical interludes performed by the artist’s father in a deserted, Ford dealership showroom, the 6 projections that compose Roger, Roger form a semi-narrative, quasi-factual, spatial poem. Part folk tale, part fantasy and part down-home jamboree, this multi-channel video phantasmagoria is an Oklahoma-centric epic reflecting the inherent weirdness of the middle of nowhere. The main action (and often inaction) revolves around the landscape; the vast midwestern sky, like an inverted sea, dominates both the frame and the characters’ movements. Featuring guitar distortion, a spectral farmhouse, Elvis-impersonating toddlers and the strangely disquieting nullity of the plains, this 6-act fable continuously mingles the banal and homespun with the ethereal and peculiar.

Pretty heady stuff, no?

Also, I think I'm going to plant stuff. Is this the year that I actually plant things, tend them and reap the benefits? Who knows. I just know that every May I feel the urge to drop serious coin at some garden center, only to watch the plants wither and die a month later. What can I say? It is my way.

Happy seriously Spring weather, Lone Reader!

Happy Birthday, Big Al!