What is it girl? Did Timmy break his nose?

So much to report, Lone Reader!

I did a little back-to-school shopping with one of my very best pals, one Miss Rib-Eye. It was brief, but so much fun. Okay, it wasn’t all that productive, but still, monster fun. She also gave me my b-day gifts including the most revolting smelling product this side of rotting pigeons – bacon mints! I love them! Allow me to clarify - I love the idea of them and I love their charming little tin...they taste like dirty *ss and Listerine. I’ve made just about everyone I know smell the nauseating contents of this darling thing. Oh the merriment I’ve had – thank you, Miss Rib-Eye!

I watched the documentary Crazy Love this weekend. I highly recommend this breathtaking work. It’s truly astonishing story with so many bizarre characters that it’s difficult to believe. I won’t reveal the big twists and turns, but will say to stay with it through the fairly slow first part of the narrative.

I also saw a Fringe Festival play, Deviants by Live Action Set. Was it good? Absolutely. Would I want to see it again? No way. It’s not for the faint of heart and definitely not for children. It left me speechless – not an easy task.

I sold my Ting Ting tickets for tonight on craigslist. Man, there were a lot of people wanting to go! I was offered a small fortune for the tickets, but went down the list of responses in order and sold them for face plus ticketmaster to a guy who really wanted to go. All’s well, blah, blah, blah.

Sadly, custody problems have reared their ugly mugs and I find myself spending time and other such rare resources to deal with it. It’s very trying.

Thus, no Elvis Cake yet!! I am so fried by work and the post-divorce crazy that it’s been all I can do to get the laundry done. So, in lieu of Elvis Cake pix, I give you a TRUE STORY:

When I first moved to MN, I had a beloved pug, Billy. My then-spouse worked second shift, and one cold and icy night I decided to take the dog out for a brisk walk late at night. The air was a little painful in the lungs, but it was so beautiful out. I decided to run. If you know me, you know how ludicrous this is – the last time I ran was a decade before when a cab driver in Italy chased me. Not to mention trying to get what is basically a lapdog to run in a Minnesota winter.

I not-so-wisely put on my big wool mittens and headed out. All was well until about three blocks from my house. I hit a patch of ice and fell forward. Of course I caught myself on my hands…which slipped on the ice (thank you mittens!) and made my head snap back then down on the pavement like I was being hammered in a wrestling ring. (or so I’m told) I felt like an ice pick was in my nose, my head hurt and there was blood everywhere. Billy! Billy?! Where was the dog? Of wait, I loved him so much that I still had the end of his leash wrapped around my palm. She went down, but saved her dog…that’s right, the same dog that, as I lay face down, dazed on the sidewalk, walked over to me with such concern and love in his eyes as he started lapping at the steaming puddle of my sticky blood on the sidewalk. No Lassie here, my friends, just a pug that was real thirsty after being dragged outside for a midnight run.