Hippies vs. Squares

Nine ways in which my parents were hippies:

1. we moved a lot & lived for awhile on the edge of a reservation in Oklahoma and went to a res. school

2. Whole Earth Catalogue and Foxfire books were well-worn in our house

3. wrapped the house in used black plastic in the winter to retain solar heat (and all of us slept in one woodstove-heated room in the winter)

4. Both parents used the term "the fuzz" i.e., "Watch it, Jerry! It's the fuzz!"

5. Our dining room table was actually a picnic table, and for years we used glasses and cafeteria trays stolen from Cornell

6. father was an environmental science professor (still is) and we had a ridiculous amount of Stop Acid Rain stickers

7. Forbidden to eat grapes (solidarity with the workers), Wonder bread (supported Nixon), and Nestlé products (corporate boycott)

8. My dad had wild Grizzly Adams hair and full beard.

9. No rules, man…see you when I see you.

Nine ways in which my parents were not hippies:

1. Neither parent had braids.

2. Convenience foods were common at home, fostering a love of that trans-fat-crisp that sadly continues to this day.

3. My mom had a bouffant ‘do for years.

4. Too much tv = a deep appreciation for the disappearing art of the television theme song. sigh. (You take the good, you take the bad…)

5. No fringed vests, tie-dye or love beads. (They both had little John Lennon glasses, though.)

6. No communes!

7. Both parents called Jersey “home” for years and years.

8. All three kids have normal names, not a “Kharma” or “Marley” among us.

9. They both worked for the man – whatever university. It wasn’t until junior high that I realized most people don’t take summers off.

Verdict: Ivy League intellectual wanna-be hippies...the worst kind.