Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Bono v. Palin
What follows is an actual transcript of Sarah Palin’s meeting with Bono at the UN today:
Handler: Mr. Bono, I am pleased to introduce you to Governor Sarah Palin.
(they shake hands)
Bono: I agreed to meet with you today to…
Palin: I’m sorry to interrupt you, but oh my stars…I thought you were killed by a tree while you were skiing! (and I LOVE to ski, by the way.) You look great!
Bono: That wasn’t me and I don’t ski. I’m here to talk with you about the grave problem that all citizens are currently facing…
Palin: Do you have cataracts? My mom has cataracts and ya know, you can get surgery for it. Oh goodness…I interrupted you again. Sorry – please continue.
Bono: I do not have cataracts. I’m here to discuss world hunger. This crisis is of epic proportions…
Palin: I couldn’t agree more. For one American to be hungry in this country of so much opportunity and prosperity shames us all.
Bono: Although there are many hungry in the US, the problem of world hunger is reaching epidemic proportions.
Palin: You know what, I respect your people. You guys really pulled yourselves up by the bootstraps with whole potato famine thing. No handouts, just good old fashioned American initiative.
Bono: You know that that was in Ireland, right?
Palin: Aww, c’mon…you know we’re on the same team. Ever since the war, you’re almost like the 49th state!
Bono (abruptly standing and saying to the handler): I told you this was a load of bollocks…she’s insane! (Bono storms out.)
Palin (calling to the rapidly departing musician): Hey, wait! I have some really slick ideas about sending polar bear meat to hungry kids! And do you know David Lee Roth?